Flying Free
by CrimsonKappa
Summary: Anzu is cutting. Not too deep, but just enough to free her self. But one day someone finds out her little secret. Bad summary, but please R&R.
1. Default Chapter

CrimsonKappa: Well, I know I'm working on another story, but I decided to put The Stray Pup on hold because I'm not really sure where I'm going with it. Damn writer's block! Anyway, this is a story I've been wanting to write for a very long time now. It has more authenticy than other fanfics I've written, because most of the stuff in here is true. I mean, most of it has actually happened to me in my life. Of course, I've changed a lot around and added stuff to make this story _fiction_, and I'm using the YGO characters. Enjoy!

Warnings: Will contain language, sexual stuff, self-mutilation, and suicidal thoughts.

Chapter One

It's not like I want to do it. But I don't really have any control over it. It's like getting horny and then masturbating. I feel the need, and it's pleasurable to fulfill that need. And I don't really know why I do it, either. Just something I have to do every day. Like a routine. It's just a daily routine.

Cutting.

I hate that word. I can't even say it without flinching. And I hate hearing it. Even if it's not pertaining to _cutting_, I still hate it. I'll say things like "chop the food" or "tear the paper" or "slice the duel monster". Never cut. It's like saying a curse. I'm always reluctant to use the word "fuck" around adults, and I get the same feeling of reluctance around anyone if I need to use the word "cut".

Just _listen_ to that word! It's so harsh and hard on the tongue. Two hard letters right after each other. Such an ugly thing to say. I never say "I cut" or "I'm a cutter" because I'm not. Well, yes, I am physically _cutting_ my skin and making it bleed, but it feels nice, almost like getting high. "Cut" is too ugly of a word to describe it. Free is a better word. It's a pretty word. And that's what I'm doing. Freeing myself from the world for just a little bit. _Jiyu_. Free. I'm free.

I have two escapes, actually. Two things that make me free. One is, like I said, _cutting_ (gods, I hate that word), and the other is my friends. My friends are great. I love them. Yugi Motou, Katsuya Jonouchi, Hiroto Honda. They have become my family. I hate my real family. Why should I love my real family? Just because they have similar DNA patterns as me? That's ridiculous. I love the people who love me, who will always be there for me. Not people who share my DNA.

Of course, I can't tell my friends about the _cutting_. Knowing them, they'll just tell me it's not good, or to stop. Jonouchi might even tell me I don't need to do it. He'll tell me how good my life is compared to his. I know he would just be trying to help me into stopping, but there's no way he could really understand how it feels to _cut_. Unless he did it, too, which I doubt he would. He's done real drugs, like pot, crack, speed, and all that shit. But my drug is the razor blade. It's the best of all them.

I'm getting dressed right now. Blue and pink school uniform. Most people think blue and pink are ugly school colors. But I think they're cute. Blue for boys and pink for girls. It's so cliché. And it's adorable. I look even cuter with my cute baggy socks. They are a pain in the ass with all the sock glue I have to use, but it's worth it. It's a pretty warm day, especially for November, but I'm NOT going to wear short sleeves. Heh, no way.

I grab my bag. Inside is everything I need. Two notebooks, my folder, cell phone (its got a cute little kuriboh key chain on it), tampons (I hate being on my period), some money, duel deck (why do I even bother with that game, anymore?), and, of course, my razor blade. I've hidden it well. In a little pink pouch labeled "feminine hygiene". All my friends are guys, if they found the pouch, they wouldn't _dare_ open it.

Heading downstairs, I see my mom in the kitchen. "It's a warm day," she says, "why are you wearing long sleeves?"

Great. Just Great. "I like long sleeves. I've got a tee-shirt on underneath, if I get warm, I'll take off the jacket."

"Well, you look weird wearing long sleeves."

I just shrug and reach for a donut on the counter. But my hand is slapped away. "You can't have those! Do you want to get fatter than you already are?" asks my mom. "You do know you weight almost 10 pounds more than _I_ do!"

I just shrug again and sling my bag over my shoulder. "Fine. I'm heading to school, now." I walk out the door before I can hear any more crap from that bitch.

Yugi lives not too far away. Only a few blocks from my house. I'm going to meet up with him to walk to school. I like his house. It's his grandpa's game shop. I like his grandpa. Sometimes I wish I could be a part of their family. I spend so much time at his house, I almost could be. His grandpa is so cool (even if he is a perv), and his mom is really nice. And she can cook really good. And they all love me. The grandpa says I've become the granddaughter he never had.

I walk into the shop to find Grandpa Motou behind the counter. "Welcome, Anzu," he says, "Looking for Yugi?"

"Yup," I nod and smile.

"That lazy boy should have been down already! I'll go check on him."

He leaves me in the shop. I look at some of the Duel Monster cards until he returns with Yugi. The two of us head out the door for school. Yugi's chatting away about his test in English today, and how he's going to fail it. He's really cute. He's so short, and tries to look taller by spiking his hair. What a dork. But he's still adorable. I don't think I have a crush on him. It's the _other Yugi_ that I love. The spirit of Yugi's Sennen Puzzle. He's gorgeous. But I also think I have a crush on Malik Ishtar, too. Two reasons I'll never have him, though. The first is my friends hate him and the second is he's gay. O well.

We meet up with Jonouchi and Honda when we're almost to school, and then Otogi Ryuuji. Honda flips my skirt so I punch him. What an idiot.

Seto Kaiba walks by us. "Well, if it isn't Yugi Motou and his gang of losers."

That sets Jonouchi off, "Kaiba! I'm gonna... I'm gonna..." Poor pup can't even finish a sentence.

Kaiba just smirks and walks off. When will Jonouchi learn?

"Hey guys," says Ryuuji after Jonouchi has calmed down a bit. "Feel like cutting class to go to the mall?"

I feel myself twitch when he says "cutting". No one noticed, that's good. "We can't skip class!" I say. And it's true, I don't want to skip class. The last thing I need is an in school suspension.

Yugi backs me up. "Yeah, we should go after school. It is Friday."

Honda agrees with that, and Jonouchi doesn't really care. Call me a goodie-two-shoes, but I have never skipped class to go have fun before. Only have I done so if my friends were in need, or if some evil force was stopping me. And evil forces have done so before.

So we settle on going to the mall right after school. I suggest we invite Malik and Ryou Bakura, but the guys don't like that idea. They hate Malik and are afraid of Bakura. So my afternoon will be spent at the mall with my "family". This should be fun. And I'm glad I don't have to go home. Maybe I could find a job at the mall.

Crap! That feeling! I got that feeling. Time to "free myself". Blood, I need to bleed. Blood is beautiful, all crimson and flowy. I start to head for the bathroom. "Hey, guys," I say, "I'll catch you in homeroom."

They nod and head to wherever they need to go. I walk into the bathroom. Good, it's empty. I head to a stall to do what it is originally meant for. I hate _cutting_ in stalls. Too small of a space. After I come out and wash my hands, I pull out my razor. I roll up my sleeve, revealing a countless number of scars. They remind me of the number of stars of the night sky.

Placing the blade to my skin, I make a swift, deep, and clean slice. I watch the blood bubble up and then drip into the sink. It's beautiful and suddenly, I feel happy and excited. I smile and giggle a bit, while slicing again. It's the greatest feeling I've ever felt. I'm out the window, above the school. I'm flying, the wind sailing through my short brown hair. I feel amazing. It's like a great rush of highness and great wonderful freedom!

And then, as suddenly as it had come, the rush was gone. I still feel great, but I'm no longer flying. I roll my sleeve back down, rinse off my razor blade, and head back to class. I'm starting the day off feeling very good.

CrimsonKappa: Well, how was the first chapter? Good? Bad? Tell me, DAMN YOU!!!!!! Lol! Please review, but please don't flame! If you hate Anzu, maybe this fic could change your opinion of her? Well, anyway, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	2. Chapter 2

CrimsonKappa: I forgot a disclaimer last chappie! Crap! Well, don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, so don't sue me!!!!!!!!! Anyway, here's chapter 2.

Chapter Two

Today has turned out to be a pretty good day. I don't think I did _too_ badly on my English test. Poor Yugi probably flunked.

Now, we're all heading to the subway to take it across the city to the mall. Subways are cool, yet creepy. I saw a movie once that was called _Suicide Circle_, and in the opening scene, 54 happy high school girls linked hands and jumped onto the tracks in front of a speeding train. And they showed every bit of it! There was a huge wave of blood that soaked all the bystanders. _Suicide Circle _is Ryou Bakura's favorite movie.

I wish the guys had let me invite Bakura. He's the one person who would probably understand me if I opened up. He used to _cut_, too. I think that's why the guys are afraid of him. Well, that, and he has a sadistic evil dark spirit living within him. He's really sweet, and makes me feel sort of more comfortable. I don't mind his dark spirit.

We reach the subway, but we just missed the train. The next will come in about 10 minutes. The subway is pretty crowded with businessmen and high school girls. A lot of high school girls, just like in that movie. Creepy.

Honda and Ryuuji are flirting with some chicks, Jonouchi is eating a hot dog (where'd he get that?), and Yugi is spacing out. I walk over to the tracks and look at the yellow line. You're not supposed to step over the yellow line, but I do it anyway. I suddenly get this urge to throw myself onto the tracks. I saw what happened to those girls in _Suicide Circle_, and suddenly, I wish I were one of them. How would my friends react if I died, right here right now? Sure they'd grieve, but they'd move on. Grief doesn't last forever. And they got plenty of other friends.

But then, I remember the Smiley Face. The guys probably thought it was stupid. Jonouchi, Yugi, Honda, and I once put our hands together and drew a smiley face, a sign of our friendship. I smile to myself, I was really stupid back then. I look at my hand. There's no ink, but I remember the face. Poor Smiley Face. If the train squishes my hand, he'll have a chunk missing out of his face.

The train is coming, and I'm still standing there. I wonder if someone will accidentally push me off the edge. But then they'd have to live the rest of there life with a guilt that they killed someone. A man comes up to me. "Please stand behind the yellow line," he says in a monotonous voice. O yeah, I forgot about those people that tell people to get behind the line.

I smile at him and head back over to the guys. We get on the train bound for the mall. The train is crowded, and I'm forced to stand in between Yugi and some fat otaku. I feel bad for the otaku. He's fat and smelly and the only hot chick he probably ever got close to was Faye Valentine from _Cowboy Bebop_. Will you look at that! He's wearing a _Cowboy Bebop_ tee shirt.

We arrive at the mall. Ryuuji leads the way into the front doors. He loves the mall even more then some girls I know. I like going to the mall, too. It seems like there's always a place you can feel welcome in at the mall. Sometimes I feel more welcome at the mall then in my own home. And today, with my friends, is one of those times.

I'm in a good mood. A very good mood. I guess that sounds surprising since only about a half hour ago, I was ready to jump in front of a train. But I get mood swings like that when I'm on my period. I quickly get a head of Ryuuji, and skip through the front doors of the mall.

"Let's go to The Deb!" I announce, all cheerfully.

The boys groan. "And what are _us guys_ gonna do in _there_, Anzu?" asks Jonouchi.

"Flirt with all the hot chicks," I say back to him, smiling.

I was only joking, but they seem to be considering this idea rather seriously. "Fine," says Ryuuji at length, "we'll go in The Deb as long as we go to Hot Topic right after."

"Fine with me," I say. I love Hot Topic, more than The Deb.

We head into the Deb, and I try on various dresses (all of them long sleeves, of course), but don't buy anything. When I'm ready to go, I actually have to _drag_ the guys out of the store. Pathetic.

We head to Hot Topic, where Yugi and Ryuuji go absolutely crazy buying stuff (they love that store). Then we head to E/B Games where Ryuuji buys an old PS1 game, The Pet Shop, Hall of Heroes, where Yugi and Jonouchi buy some Duel Monsters cards, Sun coast Video, where I buy the Kilala plushy that I've wanted for so long, Sam Goody, where Jonouchi buys the latest Flaw CD, and Walden Books, where Honda buys a porno manga.

I'm very happy with my Kilala plushy. She's so cute! We sit down at the food court and buy tacos. I laugh a lot and play with Kilala. I even stick her on Yugi's head. And she stays there! Must be all the spikes on his head.

I look at my watch; it's almost six o'clock. I don't want to go home, but I know we all have to. "Hey guys," I say between bites of my taco, "it's almost six."

The guys finish up their tacos and we get ready to leave. I really don't want to leave the mall and my friends. But at least I got Kilala to keep me company. We head out of the mall, and back to the subway. This time, the train gets there just about when we do, so there's no time to contemplate suicide. And I don't feel like it anyway. I'm still in a good mood.

The ride back seems shorter. I think it's because the train is less crowded and we are chatting away. Somehow, my Kilala plushy keeps finding it's self on top of Jonouchi's blonde head.

We get off at our stop. The guys are having a sleep over at Ryuuji's place. "Why don't you come along, Anzu?" asks Yugi.

Sometimes I wonder what goes on inside this kid's head. "I can't have a sleep over with you guys!" I say.

"Sure you can!" says Ryuuji, advancing towards me. "You'll have _lots_ of fun!"

Damn pervert. "Grrrrr!" I say, "You are such a perv!" And I hit him on the head. Sometimes life feels like anime.

"Ow! Ow! OW!" cries Ryuuji as I hit him numerous times.

I turn back to Yugi. "Sorry," I say, "but maybe we could hang out tomorrow?"

Yugi nods. "Sure," he says, "We'll call you tomorrow when we get up."

"Okay," I smile, "but not too early!"

The guys say bye and head in the opposite direction of me. I sigh. It's my favorite time of day, when the sun is setting and the sky is all pink and orangey. Today was a good day. I was really feeling happy. I didn't have to pretend or anything. Must have been that _cutting_ I did this morning. Held me over the entire day.

Just as I'm walking by the park, however, I feel that feeling again. I need blood. I need to cut, now, before I get home. I quickly walk into the park. It's getting darker, which is good. No one will see me. I find a big tree that's all shadowy. I won't be noticed under this tree. I sit down, look around to see that no one is watching, and pull out my razor blade.

Rolling up my sleeve, I see all my scars. The ones I made this morning have scabbed and begun to heal. I place the razor to my skin and slice away. The blood drips to the ground. How pretty...

I'm flying again. But this time is way better. The outside air is wonderful. I'm flying through the beautiful orange and pink sky. I breathe in and out. Oh, how good this feels!!!!!!! I love it! I absolutely love it! I...

"What are you doing, Anzu-san?" comes a voice.

I fall back to the ground, back to reality. Did I hear what I thought I just heard? Someone asked me something. The voice was young, sweet, and familiar. I look up and around. Suddenly, I see the owner of the voice and my face goes pale. I look down at my wrist and quickly grab it with my other hand, a feeble attempt to cover up the _cuts_. I look back up again, refusing to believe who is there.

Standing before me, with a look of horror on his young face, is Mokuba Kaiba.

CrimsonKappa: So how was chapter two? I think it's boring. Sorry about that. I'll try to make the next one more interesting. By the way, I must make some acknowledgements. First off, _Suicide Circle_ is an actual movie. It's a great and amazing Asian film that EVERYONE should see. SO GO WATCH IT!!!!!! Next, _Cowboy Bebop_, as most of you already know, is an actual anime. Also, this story is supposed to take place in Japan, but I don't know of any stores that would be in a Japanese mall, so I just used the stores that I always go to when I hang out at the mall. All the stores are real stores. And the things all the characters buy are real things; Flaw is a real band (and a very good band), and the plushy Anzu buys is Kilala from _InuYasha_. Thats it for acknowledgements. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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